My Contribution to the Satirical World of Fake News

So here are a few links to some political Satires:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/scandal_mccain_won_miss

http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://borowitzreport.com/article.aspx%3FID=6939

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/_/J/2/mccain-and-economy.jpg

And now for a political Satire of my doing...

Gov. Palin Mistakes Photograph of Bulldog as a Self Portrait

While in Arizona getting coached for the Vice President debate, Sarah Palin sees a photo of a bulldog and at first thinks that it’s a picture of her. Her colleagues are concerned that her ‘bulldog-lipstick’ joke has gone too far.

San Diego, California – Gov. Palin sees a picture of a bulldog and thinks that it’s a photo of her.

While in a colleague’s home rehearsing for the Vice President debate, Palin sees a photo of a bulldog and asks, “Why do you have a picture of me in your house?” Everyone was astonished. When it was finally explained to her that it was a picture of a dog not her she

states, “Oh yes, well, the resemblance was uncanny.”

McCain is now worried about the mental health of his running partner. Although he refused to make a formal statement on the matter he seemed very distressed while being questioned.

Pailin's other colleagues also appear worried, but no one has made a formal statement at this time.

“I was only joking.” Pailin now says; although, she seems very flustered.

Whether or not she was joking or really made the mistake, she does seem to be ‘only joking’ most of the time.

Kevin Theart
777-777-7777
http://www.getthedirt.com

Our Political Roots: Examples of Ancient Greek Rhetoric

Oedipus Rex Rhetoric

Logical Fallacies:

Slippery Slope (page 20): I vent it all on you. Yes, you, you planned this thing and I suspect you of the very murder even, all but the actual stroke. And if you had your eyes I’d say you played that chief part too.”

Ad hominem (page 19): “You miserable old man! You’d drive a stone to fury. Do you still refuse? Your flinty heart set in hopeless stubbornness?”

Slippery Slope (page 22): “So this is what he wants, Creon the loyal, Creon so long my friend! Stealing up to overthrow and snatch.”

Either – or argument (Page 37) “It’s come to that? My banishment or death preferred to what you want for him?”

Hasty generalization (page 46): “Rest assured; his account was that, exactly that he cannot cancel what he said.”

Figurative Language:

Simile (page 15) “Such ties swear me to his side as if he were my father.”

Simile (page 23) “Suborning sorcerers, like this vamper-up of plots, this hawking conjurer, a genius born blind with eyes for gain.”

Verbal Irony (page 23) “I say you see and still are blind.”

Hyperbole (page 24) “Nor I have ever summoned you if I’d known you’d go foaming at the mouth.”

Symbol (page 25) “Your royal road to ruin.”

Literary terms:

Protagonist: (page 5) “King Oedipus, the sovereign of our land” The story is about Oedipus

Plot (page 11) “a search which you and I together will peruse. My designs could not be suited more: to avenge the god and Thebes in a single blow.” What the story ids about and what the problem is.
Epiphany: (page 9) “Here”, says the god. “seek and you shall find. Pnly that escapes which never was pursued.” A god actually said something and manifested itself.

Conflict: (page 19) “You mean, you know and will not say? You’d rather sacrifice us all and let the city rot?” Oedipus and Tiresias are having a problem. They are conflicting because Tiresias won’t tell Oedipus what he wants to know.

Connotation: (page 49) “This lady is his wife and mother… of his children.” Jocasta is Oedipus’s wife, mother of his children, AND his mother.

Imagery: (page 51) “… this jangled mongering with birds on high…” puts and image in your head.

Diction: (page 68) “My sorrow heaves, my lips lament, which drew their breath from you and now must quiver and be still.” Very poetic language.

Climax: (Page 66) “She, she gave it to you?” The crisis is reached and conflict/plot is basically resolved.

Contrast: (page 33) “Test me. Go to Delphi. Ask” Creon is cool and confident while Oedipus is flaming and hot tempered. They contrast with each other in the scene.

Tone: (page 24) “Dear Gods! Must I listen to this thing?” This tone of the argument/scene/book: questioning, anger, and disbelief.

If I were McCain's Speechwriter, This is What he'd Say

McCain Speech: False Accusation of Cutting Social Security.

Thank you all for being here tonight. It has come to my attention that Sen. Obama is accusing me of being in support of cutting the benefits of social security. This is not true. I am here to set the record straight.

In 2005 Bush proposed a plan that would slow that growth of retirement benefits in the future, the future being the year 2075. It is true that I was in support of this plan; however, this supposed ‘price indexing’, that would result in 49 percent lower benefits in 2075, is not the plan that Bush or I supported.

The real plan that Bush and I supported was just a plan to slow the increasing rate of benefits. This would not even effect any retires now or even in the near future.
But the truth is, the Social Security system is having financial problems. Something must be done. I am trying to seek a bipartisan deal from congress to fix this problem, because something must be done.

Something must be done, for the Americans of today.

Something must be done, for the Americans of tomorrow.

And that something must be done now.

Thank you all, and God bless.

Obama's Speech

Stop... It's Obama time.

http://www.observer.com/2008/arts-culture/obamas-speech


McCain Obama: More Alike than we thought?

After reading one of McCain’s speeches and one of Obama’s, there are some differences but strangely, a lot of similarities.

First, both speeches used words like ‘we’ and ‘us’ and ‘our’. This gave both candidates the illusion of being on an equal playing field as the everyday American. This also allows them to spread the credit around to others and to even direct blame off of themselves and their party. These words also attempt to draw the listener in, as if the candidate were talking specifically to them and the unite us all. It seems like a lot is compiled into these simple words but they don’t continually occur throughout the speeches on accident.

Both candidates also create a lot of scenarios of ordinary people. Both use examples like ‘Billy the janitor in Ohio can’t pay off his debts’ multiple times. They repeat phrases like this over and over. It gives the candidates the appearance of knowing and caring for the ordinary people of America.


Both candidates attack one another in their speeches although their attack patterns differ. McCain tells the listener what Obama wishes to do and then tells you his view and insinuates that his view is the superior one. Obama, on the other hand, seems to relate McCain to President Bush and attack McCain more directly. Obama seems to spend more time attacking McCain than McCain does attacking Obama.

Throughout the speech they have different view but they seem to use similar speaking techniques. However, nothing can be more generic and overused than both candidates ending sentence… God bless America.

Well God bless English class…

McCain's Speech

Okay, so here's a link to a McCain speech that I read:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13179.html

McCain's speech seems to have a very earnest, sincere, and reverent tone. He seems to be trying to advocate policies that will help the middle class. He tries to come off with concern for the "blue collar worker". He sounds a bit like an activist by repeating the words "fight" and "stand up" about nine times in the conclusion alone.